


Would You Date This Nerd?

by orphan_account



Category: Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF)
Genre: Fall Out Boy Lyrics, Flirting, Fluff, Getting Together, M/M, Muse lyrics, Online Dating, Simple Plan Lyrics, Song Lyrics, all time low lyrics, and my pain
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-18
Updated: 2017-07-18
Packaged: 2018-12-03 18:15:11
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,117
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11537769
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: Dan just wanted to have some fun. And using dating app was fun, right?But you know what's even more fun? Talking only in song lyrics!





	Would You Date This Nerd?

**Author's Note:**

> i suffered for this and now i serve it to you so you can feast upon it and i can finally be free  
> so enjoy it bc i had enough
> 
> also i dont even know how i got this idea. i was listening to fob over and over and suddenly the idea existed. maybe its partly thanks to dans new video. he should have tried this instead... just saying
> 
> and no i do not own any of the lyrics.

He was a teenager, what would you expect from him? He just wanted to have fun and maybe find some friend. Or a potential partner... You never know on these sites.

But he was awkward as hell and there was no way he could talk to someone. He was ordinary, boring. And too young. And also didn’t have any interesting hobby if you don’t count listening to music as one.

And that’s when he got that idea. He won’t use pick-up lines to get people, he will use song lyrics! That way he can find his music-soulmate. Or maybe not but it was worth it. And it would be fun.

Well that’s what he thought but then he spent hours listening to his favourite songs over and over because YouTube likes to recommend similar songs and so he was stuck in an endless circle. But he was able to write down few really great lyrics and so the “fun” could begin.

First he set his profile. MySpace-angle profile photo which was one of few he actually kind of liked and a description.

For a few minutes he thought about actually writing down something but then decided song lyrics will be better.

 _“I got troubled thoughts_  
_And the self-esteem to match_  
_What a catch, what a catch”_

Yeah, that was okay. It said everything about him. He was a loser and no one will probably want to talk to him anyway. Not with this description… But hey he can still try it. At least if people see his profile they won’t expect much so they won’t be disappointed.

 

It was evening and he already got two messages.

One reading: _“Hey, you like FOB?”_ and the second one _“Emo scum”._

That wasn’t what he expected. But yeah of course there would be people like in his school. People who hate him and others like him.

He decided to reply to the second guy in song lyrics. Because why not.

 _"I don't blame you for being you_    
_But you can't blame me for hating it_  
_So say what are you waiting for?"_

Great. He will now probably get another message telling him to kill himself. But that wasn’t important. He should try to figure out what to send the first person. Is there even some song that can cover the answer? Maybe it was really stupid idea.

No! He should be more creative. It’s not like that guy can do anything to him. Maybe laugh or stop talking to him. It doesn’t matter what he writes.

 _"Anything you say can and will be held against you_  
_So only say my name_  
_It will be held against you”_

That should do it. Not perfect but good enough. There were probably better lyrics from some other band but it should be Fall Out Boy because the guy asked if Dan likes them. And oh does Dan likes them. He loves them so much.

While he was searching he got another message from someone.

_“Hey, you look really pretty :) Wanna chat? I don’t bite. Promise. Rawr ;P”_

Nope nope nopity nope. Should he even respond? He didn’t really want to. But maybe it’s just some person who is stuck in the past and think it’s still cool to use this slang. Dan was only glad he grew up. That was like three years ago and he still has memories of it. Cringey af.

 _"In a perfect world_  
_This could never happen”_

Perfect. Simple plan. Simple way to get rid of others. And then he got a different message. Different than any other.

 _"Hey young blood_  
_Doesn't it feel like our time is running out?_  
_..._  
_Put on your war paint”_

Okay that was actually pretty good. Someone is playing with him. And Dan was prepared to win this. He had about twenty tabs open on his laptop with different bands and songs so it will be easy to find some fitting lyrics. Bring it up, boy!

 _"We’re gonna die_  
_It’s just a matter of time_  
_Hard times come_  
_Good times go”_

Yeah, perfect. Time is running out. Fuck, he could have used Muse lyrics! Fuck, fuck, fuck! It was too late now. He messed up. This response was good but Muse would be better… He is so stupid.

His phone vibrated just few moments after. Looks like someone is really up for the challenge.

 _"I've never been the best at honesty,_  
_I've made more mistakes than I can even count,_  
_But things are gonna be so different now,_  
_You make me wanna turn it all around”_

And Dan had just the right lyrics to respond with. Take that, boy!

 _"I'm a nightmare, a disaster_  
_That's what they always said_  
_I'm a lost cause, not a hero”_

He was feeling so great. He was so into this. So into sending someone else his favourite lyrics and communicating this way. It was great.

He decided to look at the guy’s profile. At least see who he is talking to.

Firstly that guy was pretty. So pretty. Black hair and blue eyes and fuck the miniature of his profile picture looked way worse. He wasn’t expecting someone so pretty to write him. And to want to have a lyrics fight. Perfect people exist was all he thought at that moment.

The description was quite short: “Phil. I am a flower in disguise, probably a palm tree actually.”

Funny. Fits the image of a boy who sends you back song lyrics…

He got another message:

 _“Am I more than you bargained for yet?_  
_I've been dying to tell you anything you want to hear_  
_'Cause that's just who I am this week”_

He smiled. It’s so weird how much fun it is to write someone. He doesn’t know anything about Phil. Just his name and that he likes Fall Out Boy. And he is probably a big nerd.

He answered almost immediately.

 _"Letting people down is my thing, baby_  
_Find yourself a new gig_  
_This town ain't big enough for two of us”_

The screen was illuminating his face and he still didn’t get up to turn the light on. No, this was so much fun. Why didn’t he think about it sooner?

Not to mention this Phil was actually answering him!

 _“Oh, I'm sorry, I didn't mean any of it_  
_I just got too lonely, lonely, whoa_  
_In between being young and being right_  
_You were my Versailles at night”_

Maybe he should stop with the lyrics and actually talk to this guy. Maybe they will have some similar interests other than music. And maybe similar sense of humour, if you can classify this as a humour.

 _“We've gone way too fast for way too long_  
_And we were never supposed to make it half this far_  
_…_  
_We're the new face of failure_  
_Prettier and younger but not any better off_  
_Bullet proof loneliness”_

So what? He needed to make a point. So why not combine two songs together? It’s not like they set any rules at the start. No, they just started sending messages. And Phil was really good at it. Dan could imagine them talking. If they can talk using song lyrics then they will probably be able to talk normally. But he kind of didn’t want to. This way he can’t really mess up. It’s harder when you are using words.

His phone vibrated again to tell him he got another message.

 _"I'm too terrified and would you mind if I_  
_sat next to you and watched you smile_  
_So many kids but I only see you_  
_And I don't think you notice me”_

That guy, that guy was fucking smooth and he was only using lyrics! How can someone do that? Dan was stupid to start this game. Phil was evidently better. So much better. Already making a move…

 _“Are you ready for another bad poem?_  
_One more off-key anthem_  
_Let your teeth sink in_  
_Remember me as I was not as I am_  
_…_  
_Coming in unannounced, drag my nails on the tile_  
_I just followed your scent, you can just follow my smile”_

A bit too aggressive maybe but Dan really didn’t expect Phil to be this good. He felt a bit ashamed. He felt like he was losing and it wasn’t even a competition! Fuck his life.

 _“Starlight_  
_I will be chasing a starlight_  
_Until the end of my life_  
_I don't know if it's worth it anymore”_

He was angry. So angry. How can Phil be so good? Like it maybe didn’t make sense a bit but Dan understood what Phil was trying to say. How was that even possible?

He didn’t know how to respond. This was too hard. He looked up about twenty different song lyrics he didn’t before but no, he didn’t find any good ones. Why? Now he will let Phil down and so they will stop talking because Dan started this but halfway through found out he isn’t actually good at it. Fuck.

When he didn’t respond for ten minutes, he got another message. And from Phil. Is he going to tell him that it was fun but Dan didn’t try hard enough?

 _“Can you see that I am needing_  
_Begging for so much more_  
_Than you could ever give_  
_And I don’t want you to adore me_  
_Don’t want you to ignore me_  
_When it pleases you”_

Fuck him and fuck him and fuck fuck him. How can he use this song? Dan’s favourite song? How dare he?! And use it this way that it really fits. Fuck him.

So Dan, obviously, stepped up his game. Sounding a bit… too over the top but fuck this guy, using his favourite lyrics this way and also continuing when Dan was lost. Fuck him.

 _“I wanna start by letting you know this_  
_Because of you my life has a purpose_  
_You helped me be who I am today_  
_I see myself in every word you say”_

Yeah, that should do it. Perfect. But the response killed him again as he was not prepared. But when was he? Certainly not any time when he receive a text from Phil.

 _“I don't know where you're going_  
_But do you got room for one more troubled soul?_  
_I don't know where I'm going_  
_But I don't think I'm coming home”_

_“Hey! You seem like a really interesting person and this was fun. Wanna talk?”_

Here it was. Not only good lyrics but also a message. Phil wanted to chat. God, Dan was so screwed.

“ _ok. im dan. nice to meet ya_ ”

“ _I am Phil! You have a really great taste in music! ^-^”_

“ _same. wher you from?”_

He didn’t mean for this to happen. It was never supposed to go this far. But he was having fun. Chatting with Phil was great. He loved it.

They were talking almost always. While Dan was at school, in the evening, sending a good morning texts, soon started to Skype and Dan realized he had a problem. A big problem. He was falling for Phil. Too quickly. And Phil was a fucking tease, always smirking like the main characters in all the teen novels and his hair was always a bit messy and he was four years older but to Dan he was the most perfect guy ever.

And the biggest problem was that Phil was flirting with him. Dan didn’t know if it was intentional or if that was how Phil was always. But he was enjoying the fuck out of it.

 _“Forgive me, I'm trying to find_  
_My calling, I'm calling at night_  
_I don't mean to be a bother,_  
_But have you seen this boy?_  
_…_  
_Where is my boy tonight?_  
_I hope he is a gentleman._  
_Maybe he won't find out what I know._  
_…_  
_But I’ll be okay_  
_Your hot whiskey eyes_  
_Have fanned the flames_  
_Maybe I’ll burn a little brighter tonight_  
_Let the fire breathe me back to life”_

Phil was a flirt and he was so good at it. Still sometimes sending him lyrics just because he wanted. But then he also sent a message right after.

_“Will you go out with me? When you’ll be in Manchester I mean. I really want to take you to the Manchester Eye and for a dinner. Just say yes.”_

And so Dan did and it was probably the best decision he made. Or maybe talking to people using song lyrics was. It got him here. And got him a nerdy boyfriend. Score!

So he wrote his response and also added song lyrics. Just because he could.

 _“_ _Everything about you is how I'd wanna be_  
_Your freedom comes naturally_  
_Everything about you resonates happiness_  
_Now I won't settle for less”_

**Author's Note:**

> ok i just love fob and muse and simple plan and much more... and no muscle museum isnt dans favourite song. but its my favourite and what are you going to do about it, huh?
> 
> also this is happening in like... 2014?? (bc rawr) but dan is a teenager and i know there are new songs (young and menace) and no i dont care. its an alternative universe. anything can happen.


End file.
